The baby B Update

Whew - it's totally been awhile since I've mentioned this crazy, hairy process we're in. But I get asked about it all the time, and I figure that you all might be curious, too.

And by the way, THANK YOU for asking. And for your excitement. And for your prayers. No, there's no "belly proof" that we're bringing a baby into our family. There's no specific timeline. No one can buy itty bitty outfits, because no one knows how big he'll be. And his looks? Who knows? He could look Scandinavian, Chinese, Gypsy, or anywhere in between. Oh, and we don't even know for sure that he is a he.

But it warms my heart to think that our friends and family are so thoughtful and supportive. We're really excited about this baby around here, and are thankful that the community around us is, too.

Okay, back to the update.

1. Paperwork.

Yes, there is an overwhelming amount of paperwork. Everyone warned us about that. But I was under the impression that we would just sit down, fill out a zillion forms, and send them in. And that then we'd be done.

Not so much.

For some forms, we did just fill in a bunch of [highly personal] information regarding our income, assets, health, and family history. But for others, it was much more of a process. Like applying with United States Citizenship and Immigration Services, or USCIS. We sent in an application, got verification that it was received a week later, and then a week after that received a date and time for a fingerprinting appointment. Then two weeks after that headed downtown on a Wednesday morning to get fingerprinted. And now we're still waiting on our final "OK" which will officially say that the U.S. government will allow us to adopt a foreign orphan.

2. The Homestudy

Here in Ohio we have two homestudy visits. I think in other states you just have one. Not sure why different states have different rules.

In any case, our two social worker visits are now complete.

As much as I'm irked by some of the hoops we have to jump through for this process to be complete, the homestudy visit part was actually quite nice. Our social worker was sweet, goodnatured, and understanding. And it was obvious from the first that she wasn't there to look for reasons to "fail" us. No white glove treatment to the house - thank goodness! No expectations of flawless parenting - whew!

Basically, she was an ally in all of this.

She simply collected all kinds of information about us and our home. Yes, she did verify that we take out our trash - and mentioned just how ridiculous she feels that question is, too!

It was a breath of fresh air.

She has recently typed up a big document that includes all of the information she collected while meeting with us in addition to what was in our [you guessed it] homestudy paperowrk. The final homestudy will be sent with a bunch of other information to the Russian government. This is called the dossier. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

3. The Fire Department Inspection

Um, we failed our first one.

Prior to visit #1 we went through the checklist. We put up smoke alarms on the two floors otherwise missing them. We covered up all of our outlets. Yes, even though we won't have a child living here for many months. We bought a fire extinguisher. And we wrote out an evacuation plan. As in, "if upstairs in the bedroom, walk down stairs and out front door."

And why did we fail? Well, the evacuation plan needed to be a floor plan diagram. Instead of a written plan. Because the 14-month old child will be able to read a floor plan better than a written plan, right? *sigh*

Thankfully we passed on round #2.

So where does that leave us?

I think the end is in sight. I'm hopeful that we can submit our dossier to Russia by the end of March. Sooner would be great. We have more paperwork to fill out. More doctor sign-off's to get. More documents to get notarized. But we're close. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

And then?

Who knows? We could wait 6 months for our referral. We could wait 18. We're hoping for the former. But that is 100% out of our hands.

And 100% in the Lord's.

Remind us of that, okay?



So there we have it. Once that dossier is submitted we're going to A) celebrate and B) start working on the baby's room. You know how we love home projects!

Frustrating, but worth it.

I feel buried sometimes.

Under the load of paperwork.
The constant expenses.
The scheduling of home study visits, over-the-phone meetings, and doctor appointments.
Fingerprinting.
Criminal clearances.
Immigration office phone numbers which make it nearly impossible to talk to a real human.

And the injustice of it all.

A dumb teenager can bring home a baby to any kind of rat hole. And no one asks questions. But I have to have a social worker out to the house to verify that we take out our trash? And schedule the fire department to come over and certify that it isn't a fire hazard?

We have 12 hours of mandatory online classwork to complete. Not a bad idea. But parents whose kids have been taken away from them? Do they have to take classes to get their kids back? Nope.





But it will all be worth it in the end.

No question about it.

Our as-of-yet-unknown baby is worth every mind-numbing minute of this process. We love him already.

And God will use this process to teach us, grow us, and mature us.





And when I think of the sacrifice Jesus made so that I could become a part of His family...

It puts it all in perspective.

New Year's Resolutions

I'm not a good finisher. I have great ideas and then get 3/4 done and stop. I get lazy. And find a new project to start in on.

But I want to change that. And goals are healthy. And this year will be an interesting one, with all of the adoption craziness going on. And while we're waiting for baby B to arrive, I'm flat out going to need something to focus on to pass the time.

I have a few ideas brewing at the moment.

Devotional time? Exercise? Weight loss? House projects? Bloggy frequency? Budgeting? Hm... all kinds of options.

But I could use your help, Internet. What do I choose? More than one? Should I set mini goals - perhaps a new one per quarter? I could use your best New Years Resolution-type advice.

Adoption Questions, Part 3

Do you know anyone who has done this?
Adopted internationally? Yes. Many friends and coworkers, and a few family members, too. Adopted from Russia specifically? Yes, as of last week. I met a lady from church that adopted from Russia a number of years ago, and she's already been a significant source of encouragement to me - not to mention her wealth of knowledge. She mentioned that right here in Columbus is a therapist that specializes in Russian adoptions, and in child-parent attachment. I'm so thankful for this new connection, and for the support we already have from friends and family that have walked this road before.

How did you choose your agency?
I did a lot of internet research on it, because there are a number of shady ones out there. Once I narrowed it down, I contacted a different agency I know to be legit (but isn't licensed in Ohio) and asked about the places I was researching. They that this agency has a solid reputation and has been around for a long time. Also, the fees seemed pretty comparable to others I was looking into.

What is the process?
For the next few months (3-4) we'll be doing what is known as the "paperchase." This means we have paperwork upon paperwork to do - for our government, for the Russian government, for the agency, and for the folks who do our homestudy. As a part of our homestudy, we'll also have someone come out to the house to interview us and see where we live. On one hand this scares me (what if I keep the bleach in the wrong spot?) but on the other hand I think they're basically checking to make sure we're not running a meth lab out of our basement. They'll also want to know that we're prepared for the potential difficulties inherent in adopting a child.

Then we wait. I hate waiting, and am not looking forward to that part of it! Our agency said we'd most likely get a "referral" 6 months after our paperwork had been submitted. A few days after that we get to travel to Russia for the first time and meet the baby. Trip #1 will last a week, and is basically a time for us to meet the baby, confirm that we want him, and head home. We will need many, many prayers that we can keep it together after we meet him and DON'T get to take him home on the spot.

Then we wait, again! (I feel the Lord may be trying to work on patience with me, since there is a lot of waiting in our future). 8ish weeks later we travel to Russia again for our court date. For trip #2 we actually have to be there for the better part of 3 weeks, including a mandatory 10 day waiting period (yup, more of it!) in which we don't get to spend any time with the baby. If we can swing it, we'd like to travel around eastern Europe during that time. THEN we actually get to keep the baby! We'll travel with him to Moscow to finish up some paperwork, then head back home - all 3 of us. Whew.

Post-adoption, there are a few follow up details to take care of, but that is pretty much it. Quite the ride, huh?


Are there any questions I'm missing?
Oh, and I still need baby name options.

Adoption Questions: Part 2

Why Russia?
It is on our hearts. It simply feels right. Honestly, we hadn't really given it too much consideration at first. We originally thought about places like Ethiopia and Taiwan, but when we started to entertain the idea of Russia it seemed like an "aha" moment for both of us. We're excited to learn more about Russian culture, history, geography, and language in these upcoming months. And, we're really excited to visit the country (both in the next year AND when our kid is older).

Why a boy?
We're flexible on the gender of this baby. We'd be thrilled either way. From what I understand, however, being flexible on this point basically means we're signing up for a boy. Girls are in higher demand, and boys are more readily available. So bring on the "frogs and snails and puppy dog tails." If, however, the Lord found it right to match us with a girl somewhere in this process, we'd be on board. I'm sure it would be only one of several curve balls we have headed our way.

How old will he be?
By the time we bring him home, he'll most likely be in the 12-15 month range. Russia prefers that Russian babies be adopted within the country, and so they're not even available to be adopted internationally until they're about 9 months. And by the time the paperwork, etc. is completed, you're looking at a baby that is at least 12 months old.

Will he be healthy?
"Healthy" is a bit of a relative term when you're talking international adoptions. We're not planning on adopting a "special needs" baby, but based on the fact that he'll have spent a year in an orphanage he'll most likely have some developmental delays. He'll also need to learn for the first time what having parents actually means, since that experience will be completely new to him. We're starting to read up on how we can help him form healthy attachments with us.

What will you name him?
No clue! Any ideas?

Adoption Questions: Part 1

Why Adoption?
I know - this is the first question on everyone's mind. My answer is three-fold.

1. We wanted to be parents. We've known for years that it might be difficult for us to have biological children, and we're just not all that interested in walking too far down the fertility treatment path right now. It is an emotional, expensive, stressful time (from what I understand, having watched friends go through it) and we felt that we'd rather just put that kind of time, energy, etc. into an adoption process.

2. We have a heart for adoption. We've always talked about growing our family through biological AND adoptive children. Personally, I've felt a tug toward adoption since I was a teenager. I have wonderful family members and friends who've been adopted. I've watched people from church and work go through the process. And I've known for a long time that I wanted to do it. I believe that God has placed this desire within us, and we're simply walking down the path he has placed before us.

3. I'm adopted. So is Josh. Not in exactly the same way, since Josh and I were both raised by our birth parents.

But God, through Jesus, adopted me into His family.

In Galatians, the apostle Paul talks about the difference between slaves and heirs.

But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father." So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.
Galatians 4:4-7

Apart from Jesus, I would be considered a slave. I'd have no claim on God's promises, blessings, or family. I'd be an outsider - just like unpaid household staff. And I'd be bound to God's rules for my own salvation.

But since I've accepted Christ into my life, believing that he fully paid for my sins through His death on the cross, and trusting in Him alone to make me right with God, I'm no longer a slave. My standing with God doesn't have anything to do with a list of rules, but rather a relationship with Him through Christ. He knew I'd never be able to follow his law perfectly, and in love sent Jesus to die in my place. Through this I know that I've been adopted into God's family, and can now be considered a child of God. I'm an heir to God's incredible promises. Jesus redeemed me, and in that is my own adoption into God's family.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1

I really just think adoption is near and dear to God's heart. He is, after all, called the "Father of the fatherless." And in His infinite wisdom, He placed this particular desire on my heart. And Josh's.

As a follower of Jesus, I'm called to care for "orphans and widows" (James 1:27). The Bible actually talks about this concept a lot. I think part of the reason God asks His followers to do these things is because it gives us a little taste of what He is like. And I'm so excited draw nearer to God through this process. I don't think there is any way this process won't give me a new, unique understanding of my Lord and Savior. And I'm excited for that.

I was recently reading a book (one I highly recommend) about adoption where the author talks about how, on a shelf in his office, there are two hats. One is a black cap from his seminary graduation, and the other is a paper cone birthday hat from his son's recent party. He'd adopted this son years before. He spoke about how, even though he'd spent years studying and learning about God through his seminary education and subsequent ministry, he learned so much more about his heavenly Father through what the birthday hat represented. This image of the two hats just sticks with me.



I hope this gives you a feel about our heart toward this adoption, and this baby.

And I'll continue to answer your (many) questions as best I can over the next week. Thank you for journeying with us.

A Brown Family Announcement

There’s a little something going on around here that I’m so excited to share with you all. In fact, I’ve been dying to blog about it for weeks.

The Brown family is under construction. And we’re thrilled about it.

We’re in the early stages of an international adoption process, and are planning on welcoming a little boy from Russia into our family. We pray we’ll be able to bring him home by next Christmas.

More details to follow, but in the meantime, what are your questions? Maybe you're unfamiliar with adoptions. Maybe you just want to know more about why we chose this path. I know we still have a lot to learn about all of this, but have done some significant heart-searching, praying, and research over the past couple of months. And we're excited to share this journey with all of you.

And we could use your prayers, bloggy friends.
For the health and safety of our future baby, who may or may not be born already, and who will most likely spend several months of his life in a Russian orphanage.
For the process. The paperwork. The home study. The judges and courts and officials.
For us. That we depend on and trust in the Lord throughout this journey – a journey we feel His calling to begin. That we make wise decisions as we prepare to welcome this little guy into our home. That we grow closer to each other in this process.