14 weeks along:
I had planned on writing something at 12 weeks. But that date sailed right by, and so did week 13.
As of Monday, I'm 15 weeks pregnant.
Sometimes I still find it hard to believe. And then I look down and it's difficult to deny. There's life in there. A beating heart. A growing body (the size of an apple, I hear!) Limbs that can move around (although I don't feel them yet).
I'm immensely thankful to have made it this far. And I've found that over the last few weeks the Lord is teaching me about dependence and trust like I've never experienced before. I think it boils down to the fact that I know - I know - that I have very little control over this deal.
I certainly had very little control regarding the conception of this kid. The year of infertility taught me that.
I have no control over his/her little heartbeat. (But I've heard it and it's beautiful!)
I have no control over the brain development or the growing of limbs and muscles and organs.
I know that there's still no guarantee that this baby will ever take a single breath.
Or that, once he or she is born, we won't find out some kind of scray diagnosis.
And even so, I'm so very thankful for this little unexpected gift. It's an honor to have made it to 15 weeks. I love carrying this child. And I already adore this baby.
And all of the unknowns? Well, that's life. And it's just an opportunity for me to once again place my faith in Jesus, and trust Him alone for each next step.
And the view of my belly that gets me every day?