Our answer? We don't know.
In reality, we should be moving to England in the next 2-3 weeks. But a lot of the timing is visa-related, and thus out of our hands. So at the end of the day, we don't know.
Let me just tell you - I don't like not knowing.
My friend Ali related this feeling of limbo to the end of a pregnancy. And she hit the nail on the head. When you're big as a house and nearing your due date and everyone is like, when is that baby coming? And of course, you don't know. Could be that day, could be two weeks away. It's a waiting game. When I was pregnant with Caroline, I didn't like this feeling either.
But there's purpose in the waiting. It's really, really good for me to be reminded that I am not in charge of my own life. I can't control our health of safety or family size or Josh's job security or the health of New Girl or anything else. I'm reminded of this verse:
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (Emphasis mine)I am so not in charge of this move. I am so not able to foresee what our life in England will be like. I can try to plan ahead as much as possible, but I know now that I'll miss more than a few details. But what can I do? Something that really makes a difference in my perspective and attitude? And helps to put me in a place of trust in the One who walks besides me?
How have I been forgetting that all important little detail? I hesitate to even write this post because it seems so obvious. How to de-stress? Count blessings.
My method is a bit juvenile. But it's so helpful for my wayward I'm-in-charge heart to start listing all the things I'm thankful for.
Thank you God for...
Josh. Doing the dishes. Running errands to be helpful. Thrilled to see our girl after work each day.
Caroline. Big girl smiles going down the slide. Transitioning to a toddler bed easily (so far).
New Girl. A healthy pregnancy. Feeling kicks.
Health for all of us.
The ability to pay bills. And buy things that aren't even necessities.
A roof over our heads. Indeed, a beautiful home.
Good food - as much as we want.
Friends who threw us a goodbye party. Friends who watch Caroline so I can pack. Friends I can still see in person who are such an encouragement to me.
Family who supports us and helps us and whom we so enjoy and cherish.
A relationship with Jesus made possible only by grace.
And what's more, the more time we spend here in the US is more time we get to see a lot of those friends. And live in our house. And enjoy the places around Columbus that we've come to enjoy these past year 3 years.
What's not to be thankful for? I tell you, it seems so obvious.
But as simple and obvious as this process is, it's oh so good for my heart. I've been reading lately about how God's blessings actually chase us. And how gratefulness can truly change things. And I think it's true, at least for me. I have my ugly impatient and i'm-in-charge moments, but they're getting further and farther between.
Another thing to be thankful for.
The grace to sit still and count the blessings heaped upon me. The reminder of things truly important, including the reality that He's in charge and not me. And since He's the one heaping blessings on my life, I think I'm in good hands.
Thank you, Jesus.